I Hate Myself, and So Do You
by Grendolen
Summary: What Serge thinks after seeing Kid hate him at Hermit's Hideaway. [spoilers]


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Note From Me -

This is all about how Serge feels on the S.S. Invincible after he sees Kid at Hermit's Hideaway and then he goes off to be alone...

I don't own CC.

Read and review. I will love you forever and ever, amen.

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_**Alone.**_

_I can't stand this anymore._

Looking down at myself I sigh, what had happened to me in the past weeks, or had it been months? I outstretched my...paw and then shook my head as I clenched and unclenced my fist, claws digging into my fur. I hated this. I hated...me. And Kid hated me aswell. Because she thinks I'm Lynx. And I'm beginning to wonder myself if I always will be, and if I'll always have to watch her hate me.

_How can I watch the one I love, hate me so much?_

My only true friend was the sea, it's quiet and calming noises making my soul keep it's sanity. Harle was my next friend I guess you could say. But I didn't exactly trust her that much either, it's only the fact that she has stuck by my side and kept me company throughout all of this. I wondered did, did I love...Harle? No, no...I loved Kid. Even though I may never be able to see her through my own eyes again because the way it sounds I'm going to be stuck in this body until...

_Don't think about it..._

My only wish in this whole world, in this whole mess, I wish that I could be myself again. I wish that I could be myself and be with her...

_I know that I can't...but it's a wish. Can't I wish?_

I sighed and looked down at the deck of the ship and I closed my eyes, seeing images of Kid. I had remembered her well, keeping her face in the back of my mind every day. Because the picture of her in my mind was the only thing keeping me going, pushing me farther and farther every day to get back to my real self. I start to wonder now if I should give up.

_Her face had seemed so cold._

Lynx, in my body, had brainwashed her. I had never seen her look so angry and her tone of voice so cold and full of hate. I had never dreamed that she would talk to me that way. Her beautiful blue eyes had almost seemed gray and drained of any life she had left, her fiery spirit seemed gone. _He_ had filled her mind with lies and hatred towards me. What had I done to deserve any of this? I had been nothing but a boring teenage guy sitting around in a perfect happy village. Everyone was after me, everyone hated me. I should kill myself.

_You do have a purpose in life. You're the Trigger, and without you everything will turn into chaos and then who is there to blame? You. Everyone will only hate you more because you had ruined their future more, but it wouldn't matter now would it? Because you would be sleeping in the sea. But then, what if you do gain your true body back? And you were to find Kid, and you would fall in love and live happily ever after? That wouldn't matter either because you would be dead, so what do you choose?_

I want to be with Kid, it's what I'm striving to get to now. But how is it possible? She hates me.

I don't know who hates me more, her or myself? I scare myself when I look in the mirror, I'm terrified of myself, I look so scary. My teeth, look like a shark's. My hands or...paws, with claws as long as my fingers are to begin with. I feel odd walking on these feet aswell. There's nothing I can do about it though, I'm getting used to it anyways.

I turned when I heard someone walking up behind me and I seen Harle. She smiled a little at me, and she knew what I had been thinking. I looked away and she walked closer, her gloved hand touching my arm.

"You both shall be together again. I can at least zey dat...I promize," She looked up at me and I sighed, she was so much shorter than me. Why had I just realized that? Why was I caring?

"How do you know?" I mumbled, even though it was a mumble I sounded too much like Lynx. I hated to hear myself speak.

"Becauze! I just do, and you should believe moi because I am ze only one you can trust, hm?" Harle stepped infront of me so that I would look at her face when she talked. Since when did I say I could trust her? I mean she was on Lynx's side to begin with. What was I to do?

"Serge...I never chose to be wit Lynx, it had just...well enough about moi. You need to be cheered up!" She smiled brightly and I knew that my eyes had brightened up a little bit too, I didn't know if I was smiling or not because I had always felt numb, ever since I was in this body. Harle tried to tug me away with her but I stayed put. I weighed more, I won this war.

"Come on..." She whined and looked back at me, sighing as she gave in. But we walked away together anyways. Sometimes I wish I knew who I could trust these days. I couldn't even trust myself.

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Yes. I realize that it is short but it was supposed to be anyways. xP

Review for me darlings!

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